Category Archives: Relationships

Is adultery for you?

I am occasionally asked why I run this site, and as Adulterer in Chief I feel it’s incumbent on me to give you an honest answer.

My own story is simple and will unfold here as and when time allows, so check back for updates. Through my own story, I hope you can learn from my mistakes, benefit from my experience and generally decide whether adultery is something you can or should contemplate, or whether some other course would be preferable.

IN THE BEGINNING……

My now ex wife and I married far too young in the late early 1960’s. Unusually (even for then), we were both virgins at the time we wed, and it soon became apparent that both physically and emotionally, we were not compatible; her interest in sex was almost zero, or perhaps more charitably, we just didn’t FIT in a way that gave her pleasure.

As a consequence, even on our 14 day honeymoon, we cuddled a lot, but only had sex 3 times.

But, in so many arguably more important ways, we were totally compatible, and had sworn vows. Also, at that time divorce was quite rare and ruinously expensive.

We bought a house and spent five years doing it up at evenings and weekends.

Towards the end of that time, my wife became pregnant with our first child, so we started looking for a bigger house and/or a better job to support us both as it was then common for women to stop work when they had children (writing this it sounds like the 1800’s)

New baby, new job, new home all took a toll on what should have been our happiest time together.

18 months on, disaster struck as I was made redundant from the new job in one of the economies regular downturns.

That area was particularly affected and jobs were non existent and our new home was now worth less than we paid for it.

I had already been doing some weekend work to make ends meet, and with no proper jobs in the area I made my weekend job full time and more, but still only just about managed to pay the mortgage.

Once again, with the hours I was working and a new baby, all I was interested in was sleep, so the no sex thing faded into the background

 

9 Signs Your Relationship Isn’t Worth Fighting For

No one said relationships were easy ― even the strongest couples will inevitably hit a few bumps in the road. But your partner shouldn’t be a constant source of stress, hurt feelings or resentment.

So how do you know if your relationship has hit the point of no return? Automatic dealbreakers like abusive behavior aside, many issues can be worked through with time, commitment and help from a therapist.

But if you’ve tried and tried and things still don’t improve, or if your partner is simply unwilling to do the work, it could be time to move on.

We asked experts to share the signs that a relationship may no longer be worth fighting for. (Note that the advice below is meant to serve as general suggestions. The circumstances of each relationship are different; there’s no one-size-fits-all approach.)

From Huffington post